Falling In Love with an Uncertain Reality
Falling In Love with an Uncertain Reality
Do you experience a fear of success?
Jean, an artist, embarks on a new business plan. She’s done her research, developed a clever content calendar, and poured her heart into her newest art. Her community is responding well!
And then, she invents new projects for herself, picks a fight with her family, stops doing the basic habits that work for her business and her creativity. Things start to fall apart. She’s self destructing!
Does this sound familiar?
It certainly does to me!
I’ve spent many a fun hour reading up on the fear of success. I’ve tried all manner of strategies. Barrel of laughs, really.
Lets take a look at a few ways that a fear of success can be explained.
Jonah Complex
The Jonah complex is the fear of success which prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one’s potential.[1][2] It is the fear of one’s own greatness, the evasion of one’s destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one’s talents.[1][3] As the fear of achieving a personal worst may serve to motivate personal growth, likewise the fear of achieving a personal best may hinder achievement. -Wikipedia
People often refer to these fears as “blocks”.
Blocks are unquestioned core beliefs. Some people say we pick them up early in our development. Some people say we have them thrust on us by trauma.
Brains are weird and they do the best they can with what they’ve got. Have you ever seen a brain? It’s amazing they can do anything.
Maybe you’re worried you will lose all your friends, or become a money hungry Republican, or people will resent and hate you.
Those are all normal.
It’s ok to feel ookey things, it’s just not ok to ignore them.
Imposter Syndrome
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. -Wikipedia
Imposter Syndrome is fascinating, because it’s so common. We’re all neurotic and it’s awesome.
Here is a recollection by Neil Gaiman that explains it perfectly.
Discomfort with Change
This is a general resistance to inertia.
For me, a lot of the self sabotage turned out to have nothing to do with success. It had everything to do with feeling off balance. Like my life was subtly different.
For me, that’s an uncomfortable feeling. It’s more like a free fall than a launch upwards.
But knowing that I’m sensitive to change has made a huge difference.
I can say, “Hey, uh, you. You’re doing that thing. That thing where you try to reset your life back to normal. Get your finger off the self destruct button.”
Then I can go snack on some hummus and get on with my plans.
Who else needs to learn to love change? Because you can’t have progress without leaving Point A.
This speed writing assembled thanks to Day 6 of the 30-day Medium Power Hour challenge.
Abigail Epstein is a book addict and visual artist in the Finger Lakes region of New York. Check out her gallery and tutorials on unspookylaughter.com, or chat and see her gallery on Instagram.
